Get me more Choglet

Living is so difficult. I am completely tired and out of my wits. I wish someone would show me the way to getting what I want. Today, I am not even sure what I want. My mind is an emotional void. Someone I like does not seem to like me back enough, or my liking switches off abruptly, which is almost as hard to accept as not being liked. I am too tired to want to meet other people. Online dating is so tiring: what are we looking for in such frenzied fashion? At such speed, you can barely even seek out sex, and that does not seem to matter soon enough. You are left with the rag and bone shop of the heart and the one thing you don't want to do is work it some more. But there is the anxiety that if not this, then what? It's exactly the very worst thing to do in the circumstances: go running about when you should be recouping. I feel stupid and non-adult.
I can barely register the 2 things that matter and prop up my world: my work and ma's health.
Scary, no? Scary, scary, scary, scary, scary.