Year-end travel: This is probably the first year since 2011 or something that I have been in Delhi during new year. But how times change. I have been questioning the need to travel and I am almost over the stage where I wanted to see monuments and document them. And when I am not, I am slightly tired of my enthusiasm to document them. I think my photography skills are too banal for anything, but that is a small footnote in this matter.
The dog: Times have changed in that I don't feel terribly deprived that I did not go anywhere this year. I stayed back because the dog tore her cruciate ligament and needed intensive care and was/is not in a condition to be put back on the streets. The past three months have been about spiralling stress over sudden lack of strength in her leg, stomach upsets that require her to be taken out up to five times a day because she is in distress. These take a toll on mental and physical health. There are other things like 2-3-hour-long waits at the doctor's chamber, the taxi owner flatly refusing to provide a taxi saying she leaves behind a lot of hair. And the money, thousands and thousands spent on expensive, imported medicines. I have very little clarity on what the future holds regarding her. I really don't want to take on the responsibility of caring for a semi-disabled dog. I don't have the resources and the body hurts and needs rest.
Adventures of the fibroid: I was bleeding a river, along with giant clots, at which point the doctor put me on medication. I am taking anti-abortion pills which reduce the production of progesterone. It costs about 45 bucks for a pill. I have also been taking something to reduce the bleeding. I ordered super-absorbent tampons online.
Work: I completed 5 years here. Things are not good, but one wants to hold on as long as one can.
Relationship: Since sexuality is what you live out or do, I am bisexual. I went out with someone I met online for a few months. It was the best sex I have had, and she took care of me with so much love and patience. It ended badly. But I am not good at letting go. So vestiges linger.
The future: The ruling party lost in many of its strongholds. I am hoping so much that next year will bring about a change of government. About my own future, what I had written 2 posts ago, holds: the only thing one knows is to continue.
For the next year, I wish for the following:
- Continued and further improved good health for my mother. May she and her garden thrive. May she find good sense.
- Health for the dog. Clarity for her future, and in a good way.
- Success and lots more money for me. Health too.
- A change of government
