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It is very strange where I am now. I feel lonelier than I have felt in a long while, like in a sea, o very vast. Alone in an unfamiliar world. There's no one here now, I find that so difficult to encompass, and upstairs the world's a flurry of frenetic activity. It's like a drug, and once in it, you can't bear to give it up. I don't know what shall happen, cannot say. He holds words to heart, and what I said today might be given back to me tomorrow. Such uncertainty, and you a mere spectator. I feel very very lonely. It becomes more and more frequent that I find myself amongst those less wise than I. Which had never been the case before. There is no one to rely on but your own wits.
What he says makes sense, I suppose. Which casts a very poor light on what I have been doing. Indeed none of the skills, save kichhuta by default ayotto kara, which you can't do without. Oh I had yearned for someone intelligent. Those that are expect you to pick up stuff. I haven't. "We need to be looked into," he said. How hideous we must have become. Afraid I don't make much sense, I am keying letters in some desperation, because I can't think. There is no peace at all. Very sleepy, and the day had begun well. O you, you, you, why are you human, why don't problems melt away of their own accord at the sight of you. They do, but not to be brushed away under the carpet. Excuse me. I don't know what I feel, what I must do. Insensate, balm
O O O O, the Shakespehearean rag....it's so elegant, so intelligent